Precious Lord, let me be Your servant, under Your command.
I will no longer be my own.
I give myself up to Your will in all things.
Make of me what You will. Rank me with whom You will.
I put myself fully in Your hands.
Put me to doing...or put me to suffering.
Let me be employed for You... or laid aside for You
Exalted for You... or brought low for You.
Let me be full...or let me be empty.
Let me have all things... or let me have nothing.
I freely and heartily yield all things to Your pleasure and disposal.

And now - O glorious and blessed God - Father, Son, and Holy Spirit - You are mine... and I am Yours. So be it! Let this covenant, which I make here on Earth today, be ratified in Heaven. In Christ's Name, I pray - Amen.

John Wesley Covenant Prayer

Added 21st January 2008

Two Babies In A Manger

In 1994, two Americans answered an invitation from the Russian Department of Education to teach morals and ethics (based on biblical principles) in the public schools.

They were invited to teach at a large orphanage. About 100 boys and girls who had been abandoned, abused, and left in the care of a government-run program were in the orphanage.

They related the following story in their own words.

“It was nearing the holiday season, 1994, time for our orphans to hear for the first time, the traditional story of Christmas. We told them about Mary and Joseph arriving at Bethlehem Finding no room at the inn, the couple went to the stable, where the baby Jesus was born and placed in a manger. Throughout the story, the children and orphanage staff sat in amazement as they listened. Some sat on the edges of their stools, trying to grasp every word. Completing the story, we gave the children three small pieces cardboard to make a crude manger. Each child was given a small paper square, cut from yellow napkins I had brought with me. No colored paper was available in the city.

Following instructions, the children tore the paper and carefully laid strips in the manger for straw. Small squares of flannel, cut from a worn-out nightgown an American lady was throwing away as she left Russia, were used for the baby’s blanket. A doll-like baby was cut from the tan felt we had brought from the United States. The orphans were busy assembling their manager as I walked among them to see if they needed any help.

All went well until I got to one table where little Misha sat. He looked to be about 6 years old and had finished his project. As I looked at the little boy’s manger, I was startled to see not one, but two babies in the manger. Quickly, I called for the translator to ask the lad why there were two babies in the manger. Crossing his arms in front of him and looking at this completed manger scene, the child began to repeat the story very seriously.

For such a young boy, who had only heard the Christmas story once, he related the happenings accurately… until he came to the part where Mary put the baby Jesus in the manger. Then Misha started to ad-lib. He made up his own story as he said, “And when Maria laid the baby in the manger, Jesus looked up at me and asked me if I had a place to stay. I told Him I have no mamma and I have no papa, so Idon’t have any place to stay. Then Jesus told me I could stay with him. But I told him couldn’t because I have no gift to give him like everyone else did. But I wanted to stay with Jesus so much, so I thought about what I had that maybe I could use for a gift. I thought maybe if I could keep him warm, that would be a good gift. So I asked Jesus, “If I keep you warm, will that be a good enough gift?” And Jesus told me, “If you keep me warm, that will be the best gift anybody ever gave me.” “So I got into the manger, and then Jesus looked at me and he told me I could stay with him …. for always.”

As little Misha finished his story, his eyes brimmed full of tears that they splashed down his little cheeks. Putting his hand over his face, his head dropped to the table and his shoulders shook as he sobbed and sobbed. The little orphan had found someone who would never abandon him nor abuse him, someone who would stay with him …. FOR ALWAYS.

By Will Fish (Quoted from various sources on the web)

Added 20th October 2007

A little guy is sitting at the bar just staring at his drink for half an hour when this big trouble-making biker steps next to him, grabs his drink and gulps it down in one swig. The poor little guy starts crying.

"Come on man. I was just giving you a hard time," the biker says. "I can't stand to see a man crying."

"This is the worst day of my life," says the little guy between sobs. "I can't do anything right. I overslept and was late to an important meeting, so my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car was stolen and I don't have any insurance. I grabbed a cab home but, after the cab left, I discovered my wallet was still in the cab. At home I found my wife cheating with the gardener and my dog bit me. So I came to this bar trying to work up the courage to put an end to my life, and then you show up and drink the poison!"

Added 23rd October 2007

In 1731 John Wesley the founder of Methodism began to limit his expenses so that he would have more money to give to the poor. In the first year his income was 30 pounds and he found he could live on 28 and so gave away two. In the second year his income doubled but he held his expenses even, and so he had 32 pounds to give away (a comfortable year’s income). In the third year his income jumped to 90 pounds and gave away 62 pounds. In his long life Wesley’s income advanced to as high as 1,400 pounds in a year. But he rarely let his expenses rise above 30 pounds. He said that he seldom had more than 100 pounds in his possession at a time. This so baffled the English Tax Commissioners that they investigated him in 1776 insisting that for a man of his income he must have silver dishes that he was not paying excise tax on. He wrote them, “I have two silver spoons at London and two at Bristol. This is all the plate I have at present, and I shall not buy any more while so many round me want bread.” When he died in 1791 at the age of 87 the only money mentioned in his will was the coins to be found in his pockets and dresser. Most of the 30,000 pounds he had earned in his life had been given away. He wrote, I cannot help leaving my books behind me whenever God calls me hence; but in every other respect, my own hands will be my executors. In other words, I will put a control on my spending myself, and I will go beyond the tithe for the sake of Christ and his kingdom.

Quoted from: http://www.soundofgrace.com/piper95/09-10-95.htm

Added 12th October 2007

A Children's Sermon or Object Lesson using a Christmas Tree

Gold Christmas Bulb
The Gold Christmas bulb reminds us of Heaven which is filled with the glory of God. The Bible tells us that in Heaven, the streets of the city are pure, clear gold-like glass (Rev.21:21). God wants you to be with Him in Heaven someday.

Have you ever seen a BLACK Christmas Bulb?

THERE IS NO Black Christmas Bulb. Just like there is no black Christmas bulb, there is one thing that can never be in Heaven. That is sin. Doing, or saying, or thinking bad things is called sin. Sin is anything that displeases God. Sin has caused sorrow and sadness in our world. God tells us in the Bible that all have sinned (Romans 3:23). But just like there is no black Christmas bulb, God doesn't allow sin in heaven.

Red Christmas Bulb
The Red Christmas Bulb shows the way God made for you to have your sins forgiven-taken away. God loves you. He sent His own Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, from Heaven to take the punishment for your sin (John 3:16). Jesus came into the world to save us from punishment for sin. He is called our Savior! "...the blood of Jesus Christ, God's Son, cleanses us from all sin" (I John 1:7).

White Christmas Bulb
The white Christmas bulb reminds us that you can be made clean from sin. When we sin, we can tell god about our sin, and ask for rogiveness and when we do his blood washes away our sin and makes us white as snow! (I John 1:9).

The Green Christmas Tree
The green Christmas tree reminds us of the new life, everlasting life, we can receive from God. The Bible tells us to "grow in grace in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ" (II Peter 3:18).

The Blue Christmas Bulb
The blue bulb is the same as water. Jesus, to show he was giving his life to God was baptized in water.

Christmas Lights
Jesus was born as a light of the world. He came to bring us out of darkness and into the light. Do you want to walk in the light of Jesus this Christmas?

A Silver or Gold Star
You can add a star at the top of the Christmas tree as a reminder that the wisemen followed the star looking for Jesus. Will you seek Jesus this Christmas?

Applications
Use this as a presentation of the plan of salvation for a Christmas Children's sermon or as a Christmas Object Lesson.

Quoted from http://www.creativeyouthideas.com/blog/evangelism_ideas/christmas_tree_evangelism_1.html

I've read the story of the prodigal son, Father, and I realise that, as far as you're concerned, repentance is a joyful thing. We confess our sins and you throw your arms around us. Big party - great stuff! But, Lord, some of us are diseased with this guilt thing. We've grown up with it, we're weighed down with it, we can't get rid of it. Far from saying we have no sin, we don't accept forgiveness when it's offered to us. We need to come within the orbit of your fondness, Father - to know that the wanting of us is really real. We need to feel clean as well as being clean. Thank you for being so nice. Work a little miracle so we can believe that, as well as saying it. Then we shall have something to say to the ones who don't connect their sin with you at all. Amen

By Adrian Plass (I don't know where from as I was given this quote without any reference)

Added 13th June 2007

It's a fascinating story that comes out of the 1989 earthquake which almost flattened Armenia. This deadly tremor killed over 30,000 people in less than four minutes. In the midst of all the confusion of the earthquake, a father rushed to his son's school. When he arrived there he discovered the building was flat as a pancake.

Standing there looking at what was left of the school, the father remembered a promise he made to his son, "No matter what, I'll always be there for you!" Tears began to fill his eyes. It looked like a hopeless situation, but he could not take his mind off his promise.

Remembering that his son's classroom was in the back right corner of the building, the father rushed there and started digging through the rubble. As he was digging other grieving parents arrived, clutching their hearts, saying: "My son! "My daughter!" They tried to pull him off of what was left of the school saying: "It's too late!" "They're dead!" "You can't help!" "Go home!" Even a police officer and a fire-fighter told him he should go home. To everyone who tried to stop him he said, "Are you going to help me now?" They did not answer him and he continued digging for his son stone by stone.

He needed to know for himself: "Is my boy alive or is he dead?" This man dug for eight hours and then twelve and then twenty-four and then thirty-six. Finally in the thirty-eighth hour, as he pulled back a boulder, he heard his son's voice. He screamed his son's name, "ARMAND!" and a voice answered him, "Dad?" It's me Dad!"

Then the boy added these priceless words, "I told the other kids not to worry. I told 'em that if you were alive, you'd save me and when you saved me, they'd be saved. You promised that, Dad. 'No matter what,' you said, 'I'll always be there for you!' And here you are Dad. You kept your promise!"

(Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen, Chicken Soup for the Soul.)

Added 22nd March 2007

As a young minister, I was asked by a funeral director to hold a graveside service for a derelict man with no family or friends who had died while travelling through the area. The funeral was to be held way back in the country. This man would be the first to be laid to rest at this cemetery. As I was not familiar with the backwoods area, I became lost. Being the typical man, I didn't stop for directions. But, I finally arrived an hour late. I saw the crew and backhoe, but the hearse was nowhere in sight. The workmen were eating lunch. I apologized to the workers for my tardiness (who looked puzzled). I stepped to the side of the open grave to find the vault lid already in place. I assured the workers I would not hold them long, but this was the proper thing to do. As the workers gathered around, still eating their lunch, I poured out my heart and soul. As I preached the workers began to say "Amen, Praise the Lord, and Glory (they must have been Baptist). I preached and I preached like I'd never preached before. I began from Genesis all the way through to Revelation. I preached for two hours and 45 minutes. It was a long and lengthy service. I closed in prayer and it was finished. As I was walking to my car, I felt that I had done my duty and would leave with a renewed sense of purpose and dedication, in spite of tardiness. As I was opening the door and taking off my coat, I overheard one of the workers saying to another. "I've been putting in septic tanks for 20 years and I ain't never seen anything like this before."

Added 22nd December 2006

The True Meaning of Christmas

'Twas the night before Jesus came and all through the house
Not a creature was praying, not one in the house.
Their Bibles were lain on the shelf without care
In hopes that Jesus would not come there.

The children were dressing to crawl into bed,
Not once ever kneeling or bowing a head.
And Mom in her rocker with baby on her lap
Was watching the Late Show while I took a nap.

When out of the East there arose such a clatter,
I sprang to my feet to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash!

When what to my wondering eyes should appear
But angels proclaiming that Jesus was here.
With a light like the sun sending forth a bright ray
I knew in a moment this must be The Day!

The light of His face made me cover my head
It was Jesus! returning just like He had said.
And though I possessed worldly wisdom and wealth
I cried when I saw Him in spite of myself.

In the Book of Life which He held in His hand
Was written the name of every saved man.
He spoke not a word as He searched for my name;
When He said "It's not here" my head hung in shame.

The people whose names had been written with love
He gathered to take to His Father above.
With those who were ready He rose without a sound
While all the rest were left standing around.

I fell to my knees, but it was too late;
I had waited too long and this sealed my fate.
I stood and I cried as they rose out of sight;
Oh, if only I had been ready tonight.

In the words of this poem the meaning is clear;
The coming of Jesus is drawing near.
There's only one life and when comes the last call
We'll find that the Bible was true after all!

Author Unknown

A year untried before me lies.
What it shall bring of strange surprise,
Of joy, or grief, I cannot tell;
But God my Father knoweth well

I make no concern of mine,
But leave it all with Love divine.
The sun may shed no light by day,
No stars at night illumine my way.

My soul shall still have no affright
Since God is all my life and light.
Though all the earthly lights grow dim,
He walks in light who walks with Him.

No ill can come but He can cure,
No word doth all of good insure:
He'll see me through the journey's length,
For daily need give daily strength!

Source Unknown.

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Added 20th December 2006

"And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow,
stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so?
It came without ribbons. It came without tags.
It came without packages, boxes or bags.
And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before.
What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store?
What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more?"

From How The Grinch Stole Christmas by Dr Seuss

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“She struck the angel Gabriel as hardly old enough to have a child at all, let alone this child, but he’d been entrusted with a message to give her, and he gave it. He told her what the child was to be named, and who he was to be, and something about the mystery that was to come upon her. ‘You mustn’t be afraid, Mary,”’ he said. As he said it, he only hoped she wouldn’t notice that beneath the great, golden wings he himself was trembling with fear to think that the whole future of creation hung now on the answer of a girl.”

Frederick Buechner’s description of the angel Gabriel announcing Christ’s birth to Mary; from Peculiar Treasures: A Biblical Who’s Who Quoted from http://www.christchurchphila.org/annunciation.html

Added 30th October 2006

"Please wear a poppy," the lady said,
And held one forth, but I shook my head,
Then I stopped and watched as she offered them there,
And her face was old and lined with care;

But beneath the scars the years had made
There remained a smile that refused to fade.
A boy came whistling down the street,
Bouncing along on care-free feet.

His smile was full of joy and fun,
"Lady," said he, "may I have one?"
When she'd pinned it on, he turned to say;
"Why do we wear a poppy today?"

The lady smiled in her wistful way
And answered; "This is Remembrance Day.
And the poppy there is a symbol for
The gallant men who died in war.

And because they did, you and I are free -
That's why we wear a poppy, you see.
I had a boy about your size,
With golden hair and big blue eyes.

He loved to play and jump and shout,
Free as a bird, he would race about.
As the years went by, he learned and grew,
And became a man - as you will, too.

He was fine and strong, with a boyish smile,
But he'd seemed with us such a little while
When war broke out and he went away.
I still remember his face that day.

When he smiled at me and said, 'Goodbye,
I'll be back soon, Mum, please don't cry.'
But the war went on and he had to stay,
And all I could do was wait and pray.

His letters told of the awful fight
(I can see it still in my dreams at night),
With the tanks and guns and cruel barbed wire,
And the mines and bullets, the bombs and fire.

Till at last, at last, the war was won -
And that's why we wear a poppy, son."
The small boy turned as if to go,
Then said: "Thanks, lady, I'm glad to know.

I slunk away in a sort of shame,
And if you were me, you'd have done the same:
For our thanks, in giving, if oft delayed,
Though our freedom was bought - and thousands paid!

And so, when we see a poppy worn,
Let us reflect on the burden borne
By those who gave their very all
When asked to answer their country's call
That we at home in peace might live.
Then wear a poppy! Remember - and Give!

I first found this poem in a church magazine as anonymous, but having searched the web it is attributed to different authors including Don Crawford on the BBC website.

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Added 14th August 2006

World's Largest Donation Viewed as Path to Heaven

In June of 2006, Warren Buffet, the world's second-richest man at the time, announced that he would donate 85 percent of his $44 billion fortune to five charitable foundations.

Commenting on this extreme level of generosity, Buffet said: "There is more than one way to get to heaven, but this is a great way."

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/06/27/business/main1753895.shtml

Added 13th April 2006

A pastor was taking a group of parishioners on a tour of the Holy Land. He had just read them the parable of the good shepherd and was explaining to them that, as they continued their tour, they would see shepherds on the hillsides just as in Jesus' day.

He wanted to impress the group, so he told them what every good pastor tells his people about shepherds. He described how, in the Holy Land, shepherds always lead their sheep, always walking in front to face dangers, always protecting the sheep by going ahead of them.

He barely got the last word out when, sure enough, they rounded a corner and saw a man and his sheep on the hillside.

There was only one problem: the man wasn't leading the sheep as the good pastor had said. No, he was behind the sheep and seemed to be chasing them. The pastor turned red.

Flabbergasted, he ran over to the fence and said, "I always thought shepherds in this region led their sheep — out in front. And I told my people that a good shepherd never chases his sheep." The man replied, "That's absolutely true... you're absolutely right... but I'm not the shepherd, I'm the butcher!"

By Rev. Keenan Kelsey Quoted from http://www.wfa.org/newsletter/archive/2003/0320_030516/0320_030516.html

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Added 4th May 2006

A young boy burst into the great throne chambers of a medieval king. The boy was skipping and singing as children do. He was completely oblivious to the regal sobriety of his surroundings. Suddenly, he was intercepted by an armored solider. "Have you no respect, lad?" hissed the soldier. "Don't you know that the man on the throne is your king?"

The boy wriggled out of the soldier's grasp. Dancing away, he laughed and said, "He is your king but he is my father!" And the boy bounced up to the throne and leaped into the king's lap.

Quoted from http://craigpages3.100megsfree5.com/sermons/janfebmar92.html

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Added 28th February 2006

Why all the Ashes?

I was lucky enough to be in one of Professor Frederick Shriver's classes at General Seminary just before he retired. Father Shriver is not one to keep his opinions to himself and I especially recall his thoughts about ashes. "You know what I'd do if I were the rector of a church?" he asked our class. "You know what I'd do? I'll tell you what I'd do. At the end of the Ash Wednesday liturgy, I'd be at the back door with a big washrag. As people left the church, I'd wipe the ashes off their forehead and remind them of the words of our Lord, "Beware of practicing your piety before men in order to be seen by them" (Matthew 6:1).

Father Shriver had no time for religious pretence or hollow religiosity. His sentiments are profoundly biblical, echoing the preaching of the prophets and the teaching of our Lord. Given this strong criticism of outward piety and given that at Saint Mary's we will offer ashes all day on March 1, we might well ask ourselves, "Why all the ashes?

Because ashes are a sign, they are a reminder, and ashes are an invitation.

Archaeologists tell us that the people of Israel were not alone in using ashes in rituals of purification. Ashes appear in Phoenician burial art and Arabic expressions. Ashes were a sign of grief, mourning, humiliation and penitence. When Job loses everything, he sits among the ashes. Cursed and overrun by enemies, the Psalmist "eats ashes like bread, and mingles tears with drink." Ashes are what are left after destruction. After chaos or catastrophe, ashes are what remain. 

Ashes also remind us of a common origin. The second chapter of Genesis tells of how we were created from the dust of the ground. Though we may spend our lives trying to distinguish ourselves from others, running after success and trying to feel different from others, the dust and ashes remind us that we are all made of the same stuff. We are reminded not only of our beginning but also of our end. On the First Day of Lent, ashes are imposed with the words, "Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return." Those words apply to us all.

While ashes may signify and remind, they also invite. They invite us to repentance. They invite us to turn again to God and to receive new life. Isaiah brings glad tidings to the people of Israel, "to give them a garland instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning." Ashes are not the end but are just the beginning. They begin a season that moves us through silence and longing into a season of joy and resurrection.

Sunday, February 26 is the Last Sunday after the Epiphany. The music will be celebrative and the mood joyous. The alleluias will echo for the next few days, until we reach the quiet of Ash Wednesday.

On that day, may the ashes we receive be a sign of our humility and our penitence. May they remind us of our individual sins and the complexity of corporate sin. But more than anything, may the ashes invite us into God's presence, into God's love and into God's gift of new life.

Article from: Angelus On Line Newsletter, St Mary the Virgin Episcopal Church, New York by Father John Beddingfield Quoted from the Anglican Communion News Service

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Added 6th February 2006

The Difference Between Rich/Poor People?

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live. They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family. On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"

"It was great, Dad."

"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.

"Oh yeah," said the son.

"So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father. The son answered: "I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them."

The boy's father was speechless.

Then his son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are." Isn't perspective a wonderful thing?

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Added 3rd February 2006

What is a live church?

A live church has parking problems;
a dying church doesn’t.

A live church has lots of “noisy” children around
a dying church enjoys the peace and quiet.

A live church often changes the way things are done to do things better;
a dying church doesn’t need to change a thing.

A live church dreams great dreams for God’s kingdom;
a dying church has nightmares.

A live church invites people to risk involvement and new ideas;
a dying church plays it safe and never risks anything.

A live church supports world missions;
a dying church says, “Charity begins at home.”

A live church uses its tradition and buildings to serve God and people;
a dying church uses people to serve its traditions and buildings.

A live church worships;
a dying church worries.

A live church is filled with tithers;
a dying church is filled with tippers.

A live church forgives and seeks forgiveness;
a dying church never makes mistakes.

A live church looks for challenges and opportunities;
a dying church looks out for problems and danger.

A live church evangelizes;
a dying church fossilizes.

Author Unknown

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Added 16th January 2006

The Bible in 50 Words

God made,
Adam bit,
Noah arked,
Abraham split,
Joseph ruled,
Jacob fooled,
bush talked,
Moses balked,
Pharaoh plagued,
people walked,
sea divided,
tablets guided,
promise landed,
Saul freaked,
David peeked,
prophets warned,
Jesus born,
God walked,
love talked,
anger crucified,
hope died,
Love rose,
Spirit flamed,
Word spread,
God remained.

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Added 22nd December 2005

Dear Honey,

I know you mean well, I know you think you know best, but enough is enough. I have suffered in silence for long enough. I'm stepping out of the closet and opening my heart. This year as you shop for my Christmas present please don't buy me what I need. I know that I need to smell better and looks nicer, I know you like me in warm pyjamas and new underwear. But I don't know what to say when I open these gifts you give me. How can I fake enthusiasm over a pair of slippers, how can I look happy holding a new nose hair trimmer?

I’ve lied long enough, so for the sake of integrity on Christmas morning I offer you this guidance. As you look at any potential gift ask yourself these questions;

Begin with the most basic -- can he play with it? Does it to swing, bounce, shuffle or roll? Can you find a trigger, rip-cord, grip or stick-shift on it? Does it consume or oil or dog food? If it does then buy it. It doesn't matter if I already have one, this is not a time to be practical.

And if I can't play with it, don't put it back too soon before asking this question; will it enable him to see someone else play? How do you know if it will? Here's a clue, does it have a big screen and remote control? If it plugs in and makes noise you’re safe.

Question number two takes us into the area of clothing. When considering an item of men's apparel for me here is what you need to ask -- does it make him look cute or does it make him look like a hunk? If the clothing makes me look cute, drop it. If it makes me look like a hunk, buy two.

If you still can't decide, when all else fails Honey, try this -- can he eat it? Note the question is not would you eat it, do other humans eat it, or is it edible? The question is, can he eat it? Any time the answer is yes, consider yourself on safe ground.

In closing I offer you the same respect. Buy me what I want, and I will do the same for you. By the way I already have, without revealing any details I'll tell you this much -- I've found some fishing lures that double as earrings. And you thought I was insensitive.

No need to thank me, your loving husband.

Max Lucado Illustration from his talk The Perfect Gift

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Added 21st September 2005

None added for a while - but here are some new ones as I prepare for preaching on The Purpose Driven Life:

I read a humorous story about a woman who fell out of a second-floor window and landed in a slow-moving garbage truck. Half-buried in the litter, she tried without success to get the truck-driver’s attention. A foreign diplomat standing on the sidewalk saw her and quipped, “another example of how wasteful Americans are. That woman looks like she’s good for at least another 10 years.”

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How would you like to spend 2 years making phone calls to people who aren’t home? Sound absurd? According to one time management study, that’s how much time the average person spends trying to return calls to people who never seem to be in. Not only that, we spend 6 months waiting for the traffic light to turn green, and another 8 months reading junk mail.

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Habits are first cobwebs, then cables. - Spanish proverb

Habit is a cable; we weave a thread of it every day, and at last we cannot break it.
Horace Mann

Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.
Mark Twain

The chains of habit are generally too small to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.
Samuel Johnson

Bad habits are like comfortable beds—easy to get into but hard to get out of.

Sources Unknown

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Years ago when the western U. S. was being settled, roads were often just wagon tracks. These rough trails posed serious problems for those who journeyed on them. On one of these winding paths was posted a sign which read: “Avoid this rut or you’ll be in it for the next 25 miles!”

Source unknown

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Added 28th June 2005

An affluent, aristocratic woman reviews resumes from potential chauffeurs to drive her Rolls Royce. She narrows the applicants to three men and invites them to her palatial home. She escorts each one individually to her driveway and the brick wall beside it. Then she asks, "If you were driving my Rolls, how close do you think you could come to that brick wall without scratching my car?"

The first applicant says, "I can drive within a foot of that wall and not damage your Rolls."

She brings out the second applicant and asks "If you were driving my Rolls, how close do you think you could come to that brick wall without scratching my car?"

He scratches his head and says, "I can drive within six inches of that wall and not damage your car."

She invites the third applicant and asks, "If you were driving my Rolls, how close do you think you could come to that brick wall without scratching my car?"

He does not hesitate: "Ma'am, I do not know how close I could come to the wall without damaging your car, but if I was driving your car, I would stay as far away as possible from the wall so as not to damage your car."

Guess who got the job?

When addressing sexual temptation, the point is not how close one can get to the temptation without getting "scratched," but staying as far away as possible.

Tim Wilkins' Cross Ministry

Added 24th May 2005

"When it comes to change, there are three seasons of timing: People change when they hurt enough that they have to, when they learn enough that they want to, and when they receive enough that they are able to."

John Maxwell

Added 18th April 2005

A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17."

The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."

Added 14th April 2005

A boy was sitting on a park bench with one hand resting on an open Bible. He was loudly exclaiming his praise to God. "Hallelujah! Hallelujah! God is great!" he yelled without worrying whether anyone heard him or not.

Shortly after, along came a man who had recently completed some studies at a local university. Feeling himself very enlightened in the ways of truth and very eager to show this enlightenment, he asked the boy about the source of his joy.

"Hey" asked the boy in return with a bright laugh, "Don't you have any idea what God is able to do? I just read that God opened up the waves of the Red Sea and led the whole nation of Israel right through the middle."

The enlightened man laughed lightly, sat down next to the boy and began to try to open his eyes to the "realities" of the miracles of the Bible. "That can all be very easily explained. Modern scholarship has shown that the Red Sea in that area was only 10-inches deep at that time. It was no problem for the Israelites to wade across."

The boy was stumped. His eyes wandered from the man back to the Bible laying open in his lap. The man, content that he had enlightened a poor, naive young person to the finer points of scientific insight, turned to go. Scarcely had he taken two steps when the boy began to rejoice and praise louder than before. The man turned to ask the reason for this resumed jubilation.

"Wow!" exclaimed the boy happily, "God is greater than I thought! Not only did He lead the whole nation of Israel through the Red Sea, He topped it off by drowning the whole Egyptian army in 10 inches of water!"

Added 26th March 2005

Life's Journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting.. "Holy Shit!! What a Ride!!"

Added 29th January 2005

JOB DESCRIPTION

POSITION:
Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy, Ma

JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs £5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT &PROMOTION:
Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. 

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.

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Added 16th October 2004

Two frogs fell into a can of cream,
Or so I’ve heard it told;
The sides of the can were shiny & steep,
The cream was deep & cold.

"O, what’s the use?" croaked Number One,
"’Tis fate; no help’s around.
Goodbye, my friends! Goodbye, sad world!"
And weeping still, he drowned.

But Number Two, of sterner stuff,
Dog-paddled in surprise.
The while he wiped his creamy face
And dried his creamy eyes.

"I’ll swim awhile, at least," he said-
Or so I’ve heard he said;
"It really wouldn’t help the world
If one more frog were dead."

An hour or two he kicked & swam,
Not once he stopped to mutter,
But kicked & kicked & swam & kicked,
then hopped out...
via butter!

By T C Hamlet

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Before the collapse of the Soviet Union, the Russian author Alexander Solzhenitsyn spent many years in the prison camps of Siberia. Along with other prisoners, he worked in the fields day after day, in rain and sun, during summer and winter. His life appeared to be nothing more than backbreaking labor and slow starvation. The intense suffering reduced him to a state of despair.

On one particular day, the hopelessness of his situation became too much for him. He saw no reason to continue his struggle, no reason to keep on living. His life made no difference in the world. So he gave up.

Leaving his shovel on the ground, he slowly walked to a crude bench and sat down. He knew that at any moment a guard would order him to stand up, and when he failed to respond, the guard would beat him to death, probably with his own shovel. He had seen it happen to other prisoners.

As he waited, head down, he felt a presence. Slowly he looked up and saw a skinny old prisoner squat down beside him. The man said nothing. Instead, he used a stick to trace in the dirt the sign of the Cross. The man then got back up and returned to his work.

As Solzhenitsyn stared at the Cross drawn in the dirt his entire perspective changed. He knew he was only one man against the all-powerful Soviet empire. Yet he knew there was something greater than the evil he saw in the prison camp, something greater than the Soviet Union. He knew that hope for all people was represented by that simple Cross. Through the power of the Cross, anything was possible.

Solzhenitsyn slowly rose to his feet, picked up his shovel, and went back to work. Outwardly, nothing had changed. Inside, he had received hope.

From Luke Veronis, The Sign of the Cross; Communion, issue 8, Pascha 1997.

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Added 9th October 2004

It was the worst of times. In the first half of the 17th century, Germany was in the midst of wars and famine and pestilence. In the city of Eilenburg lived a pastor by the name of Martin Rinkart.

During one especially oppressive period, Rinkart conducted up to 50 funerals a day as a plague swept through the town and as the Thirty Years’ War wreaked its own terror on the people. Among those whom Rinkart buried were members of his own family.

Yet during those years of darkness and despair, when death and destruction greeted each new day, Pastor Rinkart wrote 66 sacred songs and hymns. Among them was the song “Now Thank We All Our God.” As sorrow crouched all around him, Rinkart wrote:

Now thank we all our God

With hearts and hands and voice,
Who wondrous things hath done,
In whom His world rejoices;
Who, from our mothers’ arms,
Hath blessed us on our way
With countless gifts of love,
And still is ours today.

Rinkart demonstrated a valuable lesson for us all: Thankfulness does not have to wait for prosperity and peace. It’s always a good time to praise God for the “wondrous things” He has done.

Added 17th September 2004

FOR SAFETY'S SAKE...
Do NOT ride in cars: they cause 20% of all fatal accidents.
Do NOT stay home: 17% of all accidents do occur in the home.
Do NOT walk on the streets or pavements: 14% of all accidents happen to pedestrians.
Do NOT travel by air, rail, or water: 16% of all accidents happen on these.

Only .001% of all deaths occur in worship services in church, and these are related to previous physical disorders. Hence, the safest place for you to be at any time is church. Bible study is safe, too. The percentage there is even less. Go to church! IT COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE!

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He came for – you! [Christmas Eve]


"…GOD WAS MANIFEST IN THE FLESH…" 1 TIMOTHY 3:16

He was born in abject poverty, yet a choir of angels filled the heavens with songs of His greatness. A star that astronomers still can’t explain to this day became the compass that brought world leaders to worship at His crib.

His birth defied the laws of biology and His death defied the laws of mortality. No miracle is greater than His life and teaching. He owned no cornfields or fisheries, yet He spread a table for 5,000 and had bread and fish left over. He never walked on expensive carpeting, yet when He walked on water it supported Him; when He spoke the wind and the seas obeyed Him.

His crucifixion was the crime of all crimes, yet in God’s eyes no less a price could have made your redemption possible. When He died, few mourned, yet God hung black crepe over the sun. Those who crucified Him never once trembled at what they’d done, yet the earth shook beneath them. Sin couldn’t touch Him. Decay couldn’t claim His body. The soil that was reddened with His blood couldn’t claim His dust.

For over three years He preached the gospel, yet He wrote no books, built no cathedrals, and seemingly had no great financial resources. Yet 2,000 years later, He’s still the central character of human history, the perpetual theme of Christian preaching, the pivot around which the ages revolve – and the only Redeemer of the human race!

For every other job, God sent a man. But in order to rescue and recycle you, God became a man. Aren’t you glad?

From Word fro Today 24th December 2003

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A man's daughter had asked the local minister to come and pray with her father. When the minister arrived, he found the man lying in bed with his head propped up on two pillows. An empty chair sat beside his bed.

The minister assumed that the old fellow had been informed of his visit. "I guess you were expecting me, he said. 'No, who are you?" said the father.

The minister told him his name and then remarked, "I saw the empty chair and I figured you knew I was going to show up," "Oh yeah, the chair," said the bedridden man. Would you mind closing the door?" Puzzled, the minister shut the door.

"I have never told anyone this, not even my daughter," said the man. "But all of my life I have never known how to pray. At church I used to hear the pastor talk about prayer, but it went right over my head."

I abandoned any attempt at prayer," the old man continued, "until one day four years ago, my best friend said to me, "Johnny, prayer is just a simple matter of having a conversation with Jesus. Here is what I suggest."

"Sit down in a chair; place an empty chair in front of you, and in faith see Jesus on the chair. It's not spooky because he promised, 'I will be with you always'. "Then just speak to him in the same way you're doing with me right now."

"So, I tried it and I've liked it so much that I do it a couple of hours every day. I'm careful though. If my daughter saw me talking to an empty chair, she'd either have a nervous breakdown or send me off to the funny farm."

The minister was deeply moved by the story and encouraged the old man to continue on the journey. Then he prayed with him, anointed him with oil, and returned to the church.

Two nights later the daughter called to tell the minister that her daddy had died that afternoon.

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Added 7th May 2004

Did he die in peace?" he asked.

Yes, when I left the house about two o'clock, he called me over to his bedside, told me he loved me and kissed me on the cheek. When I got back from the store an hour later, I found him dead. But there was something strange about his death. Apparently, just before Daddy died, he leaned over and rested his head on the chair beside the bed. What do you make of that?"

The minister wiped a tear from his eye and said, "I wish we could all go like that."

When people are in love, weird things happen. Men get more female hormones, and women get more male. Scientist Donatella Marazziti says it's as if nature wants to eliminate what can be different in men and women, perhaps to help the mating process.

Quoted from http://news.bbc.co.uk 7th May 2004

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MOTHERS' MAINTENANCE MANUAL

Many of us take better care of our cars then we do our mothers and yet we only expect our cars to last 5 or 6 years but we expect our mothers to last for a lifetime. Maybe we need a maintenance manual for mothers so we would know how to take care of them at least as well as we do our automobiles. Here are some items that might be included in such a manual.

Engine: A mother's engine is one of the most dependable kinds you can find. She can reach top speed from a prone position at a single cry from a sleeping child. But regular breaks are needed to keep up that peak performance. Mothers need a hot bath and a nap every 100 miles, a baby-sitter and a night out every 1,000 miles, and a live-in baby-sitter with a one week vacation every 10,000 miles.

Battery: Mother's batteries should be recharged regularly. Handmade items, notes, unexpected hugs and kisses, and frequent "I love you's" will do very well! for a recharge.

Carburetor: When a mother's carburetor floods it should be treated immediately with Kleenex and a soft shoulder.

Brakes: See that she uses her brakes to slow down often and come to a full stop occasionally. (A squeaking sound indicates a need for a rest).

Fuel: Most mothers can run indefinitely on coffee, leftovers and salads, but an occasional dinner for two at a nice restaurant will really add to her efficiency.

Chassis: Mothers run best when their bodies are properly maintained. Regular exercise should be encouraged and provided for as necessary. A change in hairdo or makeup in spring and fall are also helpful. If you notice the chassis begins to sag, immediately start a program of walking, jogging, swimming, or bike riding. These are most effective when done with fathers.

Tune-ups: Mother need regular tune-ups. Compliments are both the cheapest and most effective way to keep a mother purring contentedly.

Oh yes, and let's not forget to speak to mother lovingly and respectfully, especially when she reminds you to drive carefully and have a good time.

If these instructions are followed consistently, this fantastic creation and gift from God, whom we call "MOTHER", should last a lifetime and give good service and constant love to those who need her most.

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Added 14th April 2004

A bit late for Easter this year - but maybe next year........

Children sermon idea, takes some prep time...

"When we visited our son in San Antonio I saw the eggs they sell on the streets. I believe it is a Mexican tradition. I forget what they are called. I had never seen it before. Maybe someone in the southwest knows what I'm talking about. The eggs are hollow and filled with confetti or glitter, etc. The idea is to break them over people for good like, I believe.

Here's what I did. The eggs are blown out (poke a small hole at the top and bottom of the raw egg and then blow through until all the contents squirt into a bowl.) Rinse them out and let them dry, then dye them or otherwise decorate them. Glue a small piece of tissue paper over one of the holes (the tissue becomes fairly transparent and isn't really noticeable) and fill the egg (through the other hole) with glitter or confetti or anything else like that. Then glue the other opening with tissue paper. They look like regular old Easter eggs.

Discuss the symbolism of the egg as a tomb and as a symbol of new life.

Tell the kids you made some Easter eggs but you didn't remember to boil them first (not a lie). Talk about what would happen if you cracked open a raw egg. You can play this up and talk about how you need to be VERY careful because the a so fragile and you would hate for someone to get raw egg all over themselves.

See if you can get a volunteer to let you crack the egg over their head, or toss it around and "accidentally" break it over one of the kids. Everyone is usually surprised that some thing completely different comes out - not what they expected.

Talk about the women who went to the tomb and found something different than they expected. "He is not here. He is risen! (Luke 24:6a) We had a lot of fun with it the times I did it.

Linda Eberly First UMC Bennington, VT
Posted on Sermon Discussion list at www.desperatepreacher.com

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Added 10th April 2004

For some 70 years, the people in the Soviet Union had been taught God is no God, or is dead.  Jesus is not real, and certainly not alive.    It was OK for old ladies to venerate a buried corpse, but for two generations the power of the State had tried to stamp out any living faith in the living Lord.  The history had been re-written…

It was May Day, in Moscow’s Red Square, in 1990, just a few months before the final dissolution of the Soviet Union.  

“Is it straight, Father?” one Orthodox priest asked another, as he hefted a heavy, eight-foot crucifix onto his shoulder.

“Yes, it is straight,” said the other to him.

Together the two priests walked the parade route, along with a group of parishioners holding ropes which steadied the beams of the huge cross.  They were right in the midst of all the official might of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics, in the usual May Day procession of tanks, missiles, troops, and salutes to the Communist party elite.

Behind all the tanks and military hardware surged a giant crowd of protesters, shouting up as they approached Mikhail Gorbachev, “Bread…Freedom…Truth!”

As the parade passed, this throng finally passed directly in front of the Soviet leader, standing in his place of honor.  At that moment the priests hoisted their heavy burden toward the sky.  The cross emerged up out of the crowd, now standing upright.  The figure of Jesus Christ towered over the giant poster faces of Marx, and Engels, and Lenin behind Gorbachev’s reviewing stand.

“Mikhail Serveyevich!” one of the protesters shouted, his deep voice cleaving the clamor of the protesters, and piercing straight toward the angry Soviet leader.  “Mikhail Sergeyevich!  Christ is risen!” 

From The Body, by Chuck Colson

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The pyramids of Egypt are famous because they contain the mummified bodies of ancient Egyptian kings. Westminster Abbey is noted because within its walls there are contained the remains of many nobles and notables. Muhammad’s tomb is visited because of the stone coffin and the bones there. Arlington National Cemetery in Washington, D. C. is revered because it is a resting place for many outstanding Americans. But, the Garden Tomb of Jesus is famous because it is empty!

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Added 7th April 2004

A promise from God is a statement we can depend on with absolute confidence. Here are 12 promises for the Christian to claim.

• God’s presence— “I will never leave thee” (Heb. 13:5)
• God’s protection—”I am thy shield” (Gen. 15:1)
• God’s power—”I will strengthen thee” (Isa. 41:10)
• God’s provision—”I will help thee” (Isa. 41:10)
• God’s leading—”And when He putteth forth His own sheep, He goeth before them” (John 10:4)
• God’s purposes— “I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil” (Jer. 20:11)
• God’s rest—”Come unto Me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matt. 11:28)
• God’s cleansing— “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9)
• God’s goodness— “No good thing will He withhold from them that work uprightly” (Psalm 84:11)
• God’s faithfulness—”The Lord will not forsake His people for His great name’s sake” (1 Sam. 12:22)
• God’s guidance—”The meek will He guide” (Psalm 25:9)
• God’s wise plan—”All things work together for good to them that love God” (Rom. 8:28)

Our Daily Bread, January 1, 1985

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You can’t break God’s promises by leaning on them!

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We live in an era of unkept promises. Nations sign important treaties and then break them at will. And many couples show little regard for their wedding vows. In this kind of society, we who are God’s people should be known for keeping our promises.

The brilliant Christian scholar and writer C. S. Lewis took that truth seriously. He was determined to pay what he had vowed. His biography tells of the suffering he endured because he kept a promise he had made to a buddy during World War I. This friend was worried about the care of his wife and small daughter if he should be killed in battle, so Lewis assured him that if that were to happen he would look after them. As the war dragged on, the man was killed. True to his word, Lewis took care of his friend’s family. Yet no matter how helpful he tried to be, the woman was ungrateful, rude, arrogant, and domineering. Through it all, Lewis kept forgiving her. He refused to let her actions become an excuse to renege on his promise.

Added 14th February 2004

A senior Pastor was advising his young associate on his preaching, and said "When I see members of the congregation nodding off, or looking at their watches, I try to grab their attention by saying something shocking. For example, I might say in the middle of my sermon, 'Last night I spent the evening in the arms of a married woman . . .' When I have their attention I add ' . . . it was my wife.'"

Sometime later the younger man was preaching, but he could see members in his congregation fidgeting, some yawning and others looking at their watches, so he announced "Last night I spent the evening in the arms of a married woman . . .' The congregation were rapt. Jaws hung open. Frosty stares came from some of the older members, all of which unnerved the young man, who added ' . . . and for the life of me I cannot remember who she was!!"

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Singer Boy George said, "On Sunday I attended the christening of my year-old godson Michael, and he was as restless as everyone else. The priest was a lovely man with impeccable dress sense, but I was confused from the moment he took the pulpit. Most of us only ever go to church for weddings and funerals, so sticking to the Book is pointless...and what's the point of rattling on about sin when most of us are doomed to eternal damnation? It doesn't warm people to Christianity, it only makes them feel like hypocrites. Worse still are the utterly depressing hymns. I'd like to see live music, acoustic guitars, and percussion. Church should be a joyous and liberating experience--[it] badly needs a facelift because it is God's theatre on earth, and he should be packing them in."

Boy George, London's Daily Mail, Feb. 23, 2000

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