Sermon Illustrations

Beatitudes

The Beatitudes - Youtube Video

The Beatitudes Music and Chorus words by Michael Schroede.

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The Beatitudes - Matthew Five

A video from YouTube of the Beattitudes from Matthew 5

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The Beatitudes from E-Water

The text of the Beatitudes set to Pachelbel's Canon

Download this video at http://www.e-water.net

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The Devil's Beatitudes

If the devil were to write his beatitudes, they would probably go something like this:

1. Blessed are those who are too tired, too busy, too distracted to spend an hour once a week with their fellow Christians - they are my best workers.

2. Blessed are those Christians who wait to be asked and expect to be thanked-I can use them.

3. Blessed are the touchy who stop going to church-they are my missionaries.

4. Blessed are the trouble makers-they shall be called my children.

5. Blessed are the complainers - I'm all ears to them.

6. Blessed are those who are bored with the minister's mannerisms and mistakes - for they get nothing out of his sermons.

7. Blessed is the church member who expects to be invited to his own church - for he is a part of the problem instead of the solution.

8. Blessed are those who gossip - for they shall cause strife and divisions that please me.

9. Blessed are those who are easily offended-for they will soon get angry and quit.

10. Blessed are those who do not give their offering to carry on God's work-for they are my helpers.

11. Blessed is he who professes to love God but hates his brother and sister - for he shall be with me forever.

12. Blessed are you who, when you read this think it is about other people and not yourself - I've got you too!

Quoted from funny(at)net153.com email list

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The Devil's Beatitudes 2

BLESSED are they who are too tired & busy to go to church on Sunday: for they are my best workers.

BLESSED are they who are bored with the preacher's & teacher's mannerisms and mistakes: for they will get nothing out of the services.

BLESSED is the church member who expects to be invited to his own church: he is an important member to me.

BLESSED are they who do not go to church on Sunday evening: they cause the world to say "The church is failing."

BLESSED are they who gossip: for they cause strife and division, which pleases me much.

BLESSED are they who are easily offended: they soon get angry and quit.

BLESSED are they who do not give of their tithes and offerings to carry on God's work: they are my helpers.

BLESSED is he who professed to love God but hates his brother: he shall live with me forever.

BLESSED is he who has no time to pray: he will be an easy prey.

BLESSED is he who doesn't read God's word: he will follow me readily.

John & Cathy O'Brien Missionaries to Russia

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