Lord Halifax

Lord Halifax, a former foreign secretary of Great Britain, once shared a railway compartment with two prim-looking spinsters. A few moments before reaching his destination the train passed through a tunnel. In the utter darkness Halifax kissed the back of his hand noisily several times. When the train drew into the station, he rose, lifted his hat, and in a gentlemanly way said: “May I thank whichever one of you two ladies I am indebted to for the charming incident in the tunnel.” He then beat a hasty retreat, leaving the two ladies glaring at each other.

Bits & Pieces, May 27, 1993, p. 22

A man fell over a cliff

A man fell over a cliff and, as he tumbled down the sheer drop, managed to grab on to a scrubby bush growing from the side of the rock. Terrified, he hung in space, his life flashing before him. In desperation, he shouted toward heaven, 'Is there anyone up there?'

To his astonished delight, a voice floated down: 'I am the Lord God, and I am here.'

'What should I do?' called the man.

The voice replied, 'Let go of the branch and, with my protection, you will float harmlessly down to the beach below.'

The man glanced under his feet to the jagged rocks at the foot of the cliff, hundreds of metres below. He gulped, and looked back toward heaven. 'Well... is there anyone else up there?'

Ready Salted, Peter Graystone, p35